Biakero Joke Set 2

Jokes

Magsyota sa Motel

BOYFRIEND : Alam mo mahal, …Ikaw ang kaunaunahan na dinala ko rito…

GIRLFRIEND : Sinungaling, bakit kilala mo yung mga receptionists sa lobby? sabi nila lagi ka raw rito…

BOYFRIEND : OO nga, pero ikaw lang talaga ang babae…

Mga Babae sa Impyerno

Nang mamatay si Juan, siya ay napunta sa impyerno. Napansin nyang maraming naggagandahang babae roon ngunit may problema. Kaya kinausap niya si taning.

Juan: Mr. Taning, maraming magagandang babae rito sa impyerno pero wala silang mga butas. Bakit?

Mr. Taning: Pag may butas ang mga yan e di nasa langit ka na!

Gender Discrimination

NARS: doc, bat tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente?

DR: alin, yung bakla?

NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porket bading siya.

DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?

Confession

Sexy girl nagkukumpisal:

PARI: iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal?

SEXY: father, pag nakakarinig po ako ng lalaking nagmumura di ko mapigilan sarili ko na yayain siya magsex!

PARI: 'tang ina! Di nga?

Kailangan Mabindisyonan

SEXY:  Father, kasalanan ba ang di pagsuot ng panty?

FATHER:  Oo naman!

SEXY:  Paano yan, wla akong suot na panty ngayon?

FATHER:  Pakita mo iha at ng mabindisyonan ko!

Force of Habit

After having sex, panay pa rin ang hawag ng babae sa sex organ ng lalake
BF:  Bakit? Gusto mo pa ba?

GF:  Hindi namimiss ko lang? meron kasi ako dati nito?

Nakakapatay ang nabibitin

PULIS:  Why did you kill your BF:

GIRL:  He fetched me from school took me to the motel,

Removed my uniform, bra & panty,

Laid me on the bed, spread my legs, and said?

JOKE LANG?

Parang Patatas

2 wives are buying gulay at a local market .

WIFE 1 : Everytime I see potatoes naaalala ko ang

itlog ng mister ko.

WIFE 2 : Wow ! ganyan kalaki ?

WIFE 1 : Hindi, ganyan kadumi !

Classic Jokes – “BAGONG BRIEF”

Sa Isang pagkakataon, nasiyahan ang Warden dahil sa mgandang ipinakita ng mga Preso sa kulungan.

Sabi ng Warden: Dahil walang gulo sa araw na ito dito sa loob ng pihitan, lahat kayo magkakaroon ng “BAGONG BRIEF”.

Reaksyon ng mga Preso: Yeeehay!! ang bait ninyo naman Warden. Salamat.

Wika ni Warden: Okay! kayong nasa Selda Uno at Selda Dos, EXCHANGE BRIEFS.

Classic Jokes – Panchito Babalu, Dolphy

Panchito, Babalu, Dolphy

Panchito: Vitamins ko ABC — Alak, Babae at Cigarette.

Babalu: Ako naman DEF — Damo, Egg at Frutas.

Dolphy: Ako, from A to Z. Alma to Zsa Zsa.

Isubo Mo

BARBER: Boss, subo nyo tong maliit na bola sa bibig nyo para bumukol pisngi nyo at mas pulido at madali ang pag ahit.

CUSTOMER: Ok ito ah! Pero paano pag nalunok ko?

BARBER: No problem boss! Balik mo na lang bukas pag nai-tae mo na tulad ng ginagawa ng ibang customers ko!

Breast Implant

Si aling Dionesia nagpunta sa dentist.

Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.

Doctor (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na?

Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Para umayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?

Classic Jokes – “Hindi Thermometer”

Sexy: doc mainit pwet ko...

Doc: oh cge, lagyan natin ng thermometer...

Sexy: hiya ako eh..

Doc: Cge off natin ilaw..

inoff ni doc ang ilaw

Sexy: Doc hindi pwet yan ha...

Doc:" ok lang...di rin thermometer to...

Classic Jokes – “Calamansi to ease the pain”

Nun: I was raped... what shall i do?

Mother Superior: Here, take this calamansi.

Nun: will then ease d pain?

Mother Superior: Gaga! sipsipin mo! ng mawala -wala ngiti sa mukha mo!!!

Classic Jokes – “A Skiing Dream”

3 men go on a skiing holiday in the Alps and have to share the samebed, in the morning the following conversation takes place.

Man on left: “I had a dream last night that I got a hand job.”

Man on right: “No way, I also had a dream about that as well!”

Man in middle: “That’s funny I had a dream I was skiing.”

Classic Jokes – “Sa Botika”

CUSTOMER: (pabulong) Miss, isang condom nga...

SALESLADY: Sayz , Sir?

CUSTOMER: (nahiya) Small lang...hehehe...

SALESLADY: Hindi, Sir, sayz pisos ang isa!

Classic Jokes – “Chinese Transalation”

INSTIK: Dlaybel, alam mo to adles?

DRIVER: Ano po address?

INSTIK: Laki itlog patay titi.

DRIVER: Pabasa nga. Ahhh... Rocky 8th Road, Pasay City

Classic Jokes – “Magaling na Bugaw”

Bugaw: Sir, Chicks P1,500 Studiante!

Man: Ganun ba? Hanapan mo ako ng mga P1,000 lang pero mas magaling pa sa studiante.

Bugaw: Meron din, sir. Ang PRINCIPAL ok yun!

Classic Jokes – “Hitler’s test”

Hitler was conquering another village during World War II when he decided to give a chance for every woman in that village to save her family. He made all the men stand naked side-to-side, each woman was then blindfolded and told to look for her husband by giving each man a blowjob. The first woman starts sucking and says: “Not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, mine!” She was right, so she walked free. A second woman starts to suck. “Not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, mine!” She also had it right.

Hitler was so surprised that he decided to stand in line between two local men. The third woman begins her turn and says: “Not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, not from this village, not mine…”

Classic Jokes – “Climb the Ladder to Success(Suck Cess)”

One day, Ron came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He’d walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before. Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud. She spoke: “Take me now or climb the ladder to success!” Ron figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before. She also spoke: “Take me now or climb the ladder to success!” Ron saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure. She stated, “Take me now or climb the ladder to success!” Ron really liked his advantage now!

He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud. “Take me now or climb the ladder to success,” she huskily whispered. Ron couldn’t believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting someone nothing short of a goddess. Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400 pound, 6’8” hairy biker dude with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly towards Ron. Apprehensively, Ron whispers, “Who are you?” The biker answers, “I’m Cess.”

Classic Jokes – “Fat Head”

Father and son walk into a bar. “What do you want fathead?” asks the father to the son. The son stumbles on his words and the father again asks, “What do you want fathead?” A lady close by overhears this and asks, “Why do you keep calling your son, fathead? “Well lady,” starts the father, “there are three things a man has to have in his life in order to be successful. Number one, you’ve got to have a big truck. See my truck over there? That’s the biggest truck in the county. Number two, you’ve got to have a big house. See that house down up the street? That’s mine, and it’s the biggest house in the county. Number three, you have to have a tight pussy. And I had one until this fathead came along.”